When is it going to end, Kristi? I am so tired and I’m not sure I can handle the pain anymore. What happened to my old life; to my friends, to my family, to my happiness? I am so scared I will never be happy again. How can anyone live like this? I know that sometimes I’d rather die. I’m in so much pain, SO much pain! My whole family is. Why does the pain have to last so long? Why did it have to happen to us? Why did the people I trusted turn out to be the bad guys? Why was I so stupid to trust them in the first place?
I hate myself sometimes. How could I let this happen and how can I fix it? Maybe this is my punishment for not being the person Heavenly Father expects me to be. I don’t know… but I wish it would end. I’m sorry. I’ve been having a difficult time in counseling. It’s difficult. I feel as if my spirit has become hard like a rock; it’s heavy right inside my chest. It hurts.
*All names have been changed in order to protect the privacy of those involved.
