Hey Kristi-Kristi-Beau-Bisty-Banana-Nana-Foe-Fisty…
I’m up to page 100! Now, my goal is to reach page 120 before I turn 16, okay? Yeah right!
Anyway, this is a pretty stupid journal. I’m embarrassed to let anyone read it. My great, great grandchildren will probably read it and think, “So, that’s where we get our mental disorders from!” ( Not that they’ll have any, of coarse!) That would be cool… No, not that everyone in the future thinks I’m retarded… It’ would be cool to read your great, great grandma’s journal; to see what kind of life they had and if they were at all like me.
Whoever reads this journal is probably going to be disappointed that not even 1/4th of my life is in here. I get sick of writing because I write so slow I can’t keep up with my thoughts! I’m going to start writing more anyway; it’s my New Year’s resolution! I am going to put topics to write about in a jar so I can choose something every time I write.
Tomorrow is the first day back to school after Christmas break. It went by so fast! I needed the rest though. I’ve been through so much; first my grandpa, then Rico, then my grandpa again… then my own brother. Yes, my brother has been sticking mirrors under the bathroom door while I shower and watching me change through the sheetrock in my unfinished bedroom. It sounds like he masturbates while he does it. Sick huh?
On top of all that, I have the normal stresses of teenage life... I’m not doing so well. I have been in tons of pain all the time, I keep getting sick, I have bad headaches, I can’t sleep, I often feel unsafe and have to be with my mom.
I do think I’m getting better though. Mom says I’m finally letting out all my stress now that the abuse is over and taken care of. Every night, I imagine myself with my future husband so I can sleep. He comes to me and I tell him how I feel and I cry on his shoulder for awhile. He loves me very, very much; more than anything. He holds me and sings to me in my ear… I know this sounds really dumb. I can’t wait until I find him though. I already love him and I’ve never seen his face.
Love, Melonie
*All names have been changed in order to protect the privacy of those involved.
I’m up to page 100! Now, my goal is to reach page 120 before I turn 16, okay? Yeah right!
Anyway, this is a pretty stupid journal. I’m embarrassed to let anyone read it. My great, great grandchildren will probably read it and think, “So, that’s where we get our mental disorders from!” ( Not that they’ll have any, of coarse!) That would be cool… No, not that everyone in the future thinks I’m retarded… It’ would be cool to read your great, great grandma’s journal; to see what kind of life they had and if they were at all like me.
Whoever reads this journal is probably going to be disappointed that not even 1/4th of my life is in here. I get sick of writing because I write so slow I can’t keep up with my thoughts! I’m going to start writing more anyway; it’s my New Year’s resolution! I am going to put topics to write about in a jar so I can choose something every time I write.
Tomorrow is the first day back to school after Christmas break. It went by so fast! I needed the rest though. I’ve been through so much; first my grandpa, then Rico, then my grandpa again… then my own brother. Yes, my brother has been sticking mirrors under the bathroom door while I shower and watching me change through the sheetrock in my unfinished bedroom. It sounds like he masturbates while he does it. Sick huh?
On top of all that, I have the normal stresses of teenage life... I’m not doing so well. I have been in tons of pain all the time, I keep getting sick, I have bad headaches, I can’t sleep, I often feel unsafe and have to be with my mom.
I do think I’m getting better though. Mom says I’m finally letting out all my stress now that the abuse is over and taken care of. Every night, I imagine myself with my future husband so I can sleep. He comes to me and I tell him how I feel and I cry on his shoulder for awhile. He loves me very, very much; more than anything. He holds me and sings to me in my ear… I know this sounds really dumb. I can’t wait until I find him though. I already love him and I’ve never seen his face.
Love, Melonie
*All names have been changed in order to protect the privacy of those involved.
