January 2, 2000

Happy New Year!  I am so excited; this next couple of years will be full of changes.  Look out world, here comes the new me!

I feel like I can move on now.  These last few years have been horrible.  I’ve felt like I wasn’t going anywhere with my life and there was nothing I could do about it.  Something had me trapped and held me so tight I couldn’t breathe…  Once in awhile I still get that way but I think Hypnotherapy has really helped. 

I’ve had some pretty neat sessions:  First, I learned about the mind (conscious and subconscious) and the spirit.  The second session was my first experience with hypnosis.  I learned what it was and how to achieve it.  Third, I went back into hypnosis; back in time to before my birth.  This was neat.  It was like reliving the experience through feelings (I didn’t “see” it).  I felt really excited to be born but once I was, it was really hard for me. 

When I was born I guess I swallowed my stool and had the cord wrapped around my neck.  They had to pump my lungs and put me in the NICU.  They took me from my parents and I was really, really scared.  Through hypnosis, I felt a connection and great love and sadness for that baby.

In another session, my grandfather was brought up.  I remember I couldn’t talk; or I felt so deep in hypnosis that I felt I didn’t want to.  When I was brought back to the abuse I felt this huge sadness in me.  I couldn’t stop crying and the doctor wanted me to communicate it…  I saw myself a little girl, huddled in a corner of a dark room.  I felt scared and powerless. 

I was told to imagine myself with superpowers or something; to see myself bigger and stronger than he.  I saw my grandfather shrink and shrink.  He was embarrassed.  I picked him up and I put him in a cage.  At this point I couldn’t stop laughing!  The doctor asked me why; I didn’t know but it felt so good!  I felt like I was free; like I was experiencing my true nature!

Melonie

*All names have been changed in order to protect the privacy of those involved.

November 20-22, 1999

I have learned so much in the past few weeks, Kristi; mostly as a result of my sessions with the hypnotherapist.  He knows so much about God’s plan and about our bodies and spirits.  Did you know that even some of the simplest things we say can program our subconscious minds to negatively influence our lives?

God has given us such a great gift: our bodies.  With them comes great power.  Our goal on this Earth is to learn to use that power wisely by uniting our body, mind and spirit through God’s help.  Once I obtain inner peace (or oneness) and obey God, I can have anything I desire that is righteous.  I am so excited.  Now that I understand a little more clearly I can really start my life!

Love, Melonie

(Age 16)

November 22, 1999

My parents are in Wyoming.  My dad is working out of state again.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I feel angry, hurt, and scared.  Yesterday I practically beat up my sister when she was mean to us again.  I never do that!  I feel like scum.  My sister hits us, kicks us, swears at us… all the time.  That’s how she is.  I don’t know why I snapped.

*All names have been changed in order to protect the privacy of those involved.

September 28- October 15, 1999

Kristi,

I’ve decided to start home school now.  I started yesterday and, already, I have so much less stress and hopefully tomorrow I will have even less!  It feels great! 

I am going to see the hypnotherapist.  I am kind of scared but really excited.  It is going to cost $110 and I have to pay for it so I hope it works!

Saturday is homecoming.  No one asked me so I asked Jon (a fellow homeschooler J)  He is in my ward; I think I will have fun with him.  Since I asked him, I have to expect to pay and come up with a plan!

October 15, 1999

I love doing service.  It makes me feel so good inside.  I love seeing peoples’ faces light up with joy when I help them out.  Lately we, as a ward, have been working on someone’s house and yard.  I’ve never thought much about this woman but I’ve come to love her through our visits to her home.  I’ve had a great time.

Love, Melonie

*All names have been changed in order to protect the privacy of those involved.